Should we get married while still in college?

Friday | December 6, 2024

Love Letters Marriage

Should we get married while still in college?

My girlfriend and I are in college. We plan to get married after we go through undergrad. She will graduate in three years as an elementary teacher. I want to be a physical therapist, meaning I still have another six years of college.

Our plan is to get engaged the fall of our senior year and then get married the following summer. We want to live in an apartment close to the school where I’ll finish out my degree.

While we’ve talked about this a lot, I still have so many concerns. How will we plan a wedding while in school? Can we live off of one income for three years, or will I have to get a job too? I feel like we’re going into this blind, and I wish there was a better way. Any advice or suggestions about our plan?

– Concerns

Sounds like you should wait.

Is there a reason you have to get married when she graduates? Wouldn’t it be cheaper and easier to take these steps after you’re done with your own program?

You could stay in school while she lives off-campus, probably with a roommate. Really, wedding planning might be a lot more fun with more free time and two incomes.

Another idea: get engaged, make it a big deal, and have a little party for family and friends. Then continue on until you’ve already found your new routine and a wedding would be super fun (as opposed to a burden).

Please think about why this became such a priority. Is this about religion? Family expectations? A fear that if you don’t make this official soon, you’ll float away from each other? Ask to reevaluate the plan. You might learn some bigger things about the relationship.

Also consider talking to a counselor at school about how to worry less about things that will happen three years from now. The future is a big deal, and of course you want to map it out, but so much can change. If you spend all your time thinking about later, you’ll miss the good stuff in front of you. Sometimes it helps to talk to a mental professional about how to stay focused on the present.

– Meredith

Readers? Advice for worries about a plan for 2028-ish? Anyone get married while a partner was still in school? How did it work?

Send your own question. I want to hear what’s on your mind about exes, dating, love, loss, frustrations, hopes, friendship, marriage, etc. Use the anonymous form or email [email protected].