1. 1. Yes, wedding planning can be stressful and annoying, even when it’s fun. 2. Eloping might be a great idea.

Many people do the ceremony with three to four guests and follow it up with a group celebration later that day – or whenever. At that point you’re saying, “Hey, this is the afterparty.” Absolutely less stress for that, one would assume. You can do some traditions, but not others.

The thing I take from your letter is that you don’t mention your significant other at all. Part of being together is sharing this experience. Too often, one person winds up becoming wedding spokesperson. Not fun.

You can tell loved ones that you and your partner are figuring it out together. You can make it clear you’re not the boss of the day. 

This will also help with resentment. If one of you plans everything and fields all questions about the event, it might turn into conflict. Don’t let things get to that place.

You will probably have to grow a thicker skin for stress when it comes to all of this. People are so into weddings! It gives them something to get excited about. My advice is to be kind to them and play along a little. Come up with a standard response, like … “Great idea! Thaaank you.” Then ask them questions about their lives. Use it as a way to bond about other things.

– Meredith

Readers? Did you elope? Did you find another way to keep people out of the discussion? How do you stop a joyful celebration from becoming all about stress? Or how do you accept that it’s all of the above?

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